Wednesday 10th February 2016

Herceptin number 12 today! That’s two thirds of the way through!

I am sure it is working as I am gradually feeling worse! I haven’t posted for a while as it’s just been the same old for a while – hospital appointments, scans, bloods, injections, chemo etc etc……..I’m working hard to keep fit to help keep my heart healthy (as Herceptin can weaken) and to keep my immune system and bloods in the best condition possible to be able to continue my treatment. But it feels like I’m climbing a mountain in flip flops!!! It’s gruelling and I’m tired – it’s been a year now and it’s tough and the fatigue is getting to me – plus I still have a way to go yet! Today my oncologist has started the referral to have my ovaries removed.  And next week we discuss the fate of my other boob! We’re regulars at the hospital now!

It is also exactly a year since my lovely Auntie June passed away. It was also the day we got the news about the cancer and how bad it had spread and how aggressive it was! I remember thinking that surely it couldn’t be any worse as we’d already had bad news that day – I was so sure it was just a little bit of cancer that could be easily treated! Little did I know…..it’s certainly been educational in the field of cancer! So been thinking of my extended family today especially.

It’s strange but I feel so lucky that I’m here a year later, it’s gone so fast! There’s never enough time so we all need to make the most of every day we have.

I am also trying to look forward rather than back – no point in looking back as it’s done and gone and nothing can be done about the past – just need to keep focused and just keep swimming swimming swimming – like Dory!

So today while waiting for my treatment I made an A-Z of my year with breast cancer – just for fun……

A – is for Apple everything – iPad, iPhone, iMac! Don’t know what I would have done without them all. Also for crazy curly Afro hair – seriously it’s just growing out and I’m going to look like a member of the Jackson Five if it doesn’t calm down soon! And Adventures yet to happen!

B – is for Boob – just hope to have a matching pair at some point! Blue Butterflies, Blankets, Bed and Beach! love the beach – I need to get there soon! Blogging and Blogs! Both writing mine and reading a lot of other amazing people’s blogs really help.

C – is for Cuddles with Clover, Coconut, Chocolate, Candles, Cake, Cinderella (my favourite fairytale) and Courage – you need a lot of this with cancer!

D – is for Doggies and Daffodils – both make me so happy!

E – is for Eating, Exercise and E-bay – all of these make me feel good!

F– is for Friends and Family as I couldn’t be doing this without all of your support and help. Also cosy Fires, Fairytales – love a happy ending, Facebook, Flowers, Florida (as you know we hope to get back there – always good to have a dream!), Faith that I’ll get better, but also Fear of the unknown.

G – is for God (I really hope there is one and he can get me through this) and Garden because it makes me happy!

H – is for HER2+ and Herceptin – bad as it is, I’m also lucky I can have this treatment. Crazy Hormones too! But best of all Happiness and Holidays!

I – is for injections – lots – I am like a human pin cushion and my veins ache! Also for Implant of new boob, and Italy as we hope to visit!

J – is for Juicing! Beetroot and spinach literally saved my bloods last year!

K – is for Keep smiling even when it’s really bad and Keep going. Kindness that has been shown to me and my family, and for Kale – which is helping to keep my bloods good – it’s amazing!!

L – is for my Love of Life – cancer does that to you! and of course Lemons! I am totally addicted to lemons – and they’re meant to be good for you too!

M – is for Mermaids, Miracles, Music, Massage, Muga Scans, Making Memories and of course my lovely March Marvel 2015 gang! love you girls!

N – is for NutriBullet and New – as in new me, new boob, new way of thinking, just new!

O – is for One step and day at a time! It’s the only way to do it now! Also for Odd – I feel and look odd – I’m an ‘even’ person so this is difficult for me!

P – is for Phil (my hubby – he’s been amazing), Positive thinking, Pizza and of course Photos and Pictures!

Q – is for Quilts – to keep me busy! always good to have a hobby and to give the children a keepsake.

R – is for Reading, Relaxing and Resting.

S – is for Swimming which helps me to cope with the pain, Sunshine which never fails to cheer me up and warm my bones and Strength to deal with this.  Also Sewing, Socks to keep my feet warm, and Spinach which I eat every day like Popeye!

T – is for Tattoo – which I hope to get to decorate my new boob, and for Turkey – what an amazing family holiday we had there!

U – is for Universe and the Unknown – cancer makes you think a lot!

V – is for Vows, which we hope to renew on a nice beach – not sure when or where yet though!

W – is for Warm (it helps with the pain), Work which I love and gives me a bit of normality and routine and of course Weddings! I love a wedding!

X – is for X-rays and scans – all sorts – have to have lots of these!

Y – is for Yoga which helps the mind, body and spirit – everyone should try!

Z – is for Zoladex – bit of love and hate here but it has allowed me the option of having other medication to keep the cancer away so it has to be on the list.

Z is also for Zombies! ha ha.  May sound crazy but we’ve just started watching the Walking Dead.  I hate horror movies but this is absolutely brilliant! It reminds me that things could always be worse (bit like watching Sky news too!) – you see the world could be over run with Zombies chasing us which is much worse than cancer!! I also love the special effects – really should have worked in the movies!

So will update again soon, hopefully with a bit of a plan.  But all has gone as well as possible today xxx