Wednesday 2nd December 2015

Had a bit of a wobble last week – seriously how much can a girl take?  I actually felt like I was on borrowed time.  But didn’t last long as brain kicked in (yes I do have a brain!) and I realised we’re all on borrowed time aren’t we? Mine has just been made a bit more real at the moment.

Unfortunately with all the drug combinations my last Herceptin wasn’t so good. Should have known when I bruised that it was a bad omen. May have been that I did too much, but as this was the first one with the new drugs my body wasn’t very happy. Literally could hardly walk due to the pain – so not good.

This is my poorly leg after my injection:

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Hasn’t done this for a while!

Luckily I went to see my wonderful Dr Chakravorty on the Monday.  He agreed that I shouldn’t be in so much pain. I’m quite a tough cookie when it comes to pain but it has been getting to me.

So he sent me immediately for an ultrasound on the new boob.  I can read these pretty good now.  They’re the scans with the gel that you have when you’re pregnant.  They checked all my ribs and all round the new boob – the implant looked like a huge bubble, but luckily nothing worrying showed up.

He also decided to send me for a bone scan just to be sure the cancer hasn’t spread to my bones.  This appointment came through super quick – it’s the Cancer fastpass again – well done NHS!  So many people moan about the NHS but I have had such brilliant care – especially on all the cancer wards and areas.  It’s only when I’ve been rushed in via A&E and ended up on a random ward that it’s not been so good.  So today off we went back to hospital.  I’m a regular at hospital now.  Phil says we can’t go anywhere without people knowing me now!

This bone scan was back at nuclear medicine.  Basically I go in the morning and have an radio active injection into my vein.  This liquid then attaches itself to my bones.  They got my vein easy today which was great! Funny how I get excited over the simple stuff now! We then have to go away for 3 hours – and drink at least 2 pints to help the blood flow distribute the radio active stuff.  I went for a quick swim – which they said was fine to do so long as I didn’t wee in the pool!! Then I go back and lay under a machine for half an hour while I get scanned.  This machine comes really close and feels like you’re going to be squashed like a sandwich but it doesn’t actually touch you. I have to lay really still – it’s a bit like playing sleeping lions – I think I would have won that game today! It you move it’s not the end of the world but they have to retake so it takes longer.  So with this scan they can tell how your bones are working – if there is cancer there would be abnormal cell growth that would be highlighted.  Where I broke my foot the other year they would be able to check that out too. I find it all far too exciting! Unfortunately they aren’t allowed to show me the pictures yet but I’ll put some pics up if Dr Chakravorty shows me.  So now the wait.  I hate waiting, but I think no news is good news.  He should have the results today so if there’s anything bad then I hope he’ll contact me straight away.  If he doesn’t I’ll assume my bones hurt because of the drugs – lets hope the the latter eh?

This is me on the bone scanner – close isn’t it!image image image

Not been sleeping so good due to the terrible hot sweats – Phil says I’ve never been so hot!  It’s hard to explain.  You can actually feel as if there is a ball of intense heat in the middle of your body that spreads out, then you sweat and go cold again.  Such a strange feeling.  Positive is that the heat helps with the bone pain!

I’ve also cut my hours at work down to 4 mornings.  I’m disappointed at myself as I love my job, but needs must and I think this will help me cope with everything else.

Had a lovely time on Sunday at our family gathering – still strange without everybody though – especially my Auntie June.  I found it really tiring but so good to see everyone.  I’m a lucky girl to have such a wonderful, close family.

Everyone was asking how the kids and Phil are coping – it’s really tough for us as a family, but we’re doing it day by day.  I’m very lucky to have such an amazing husband – Phil does loads around the house and comes to every hospital appointment with me – he’s quite protective over me now and I love him dearly – it’s bought us even closer.  I find it hard to imagine that we could be separated by this stupid cancer.  But apparently statistics say that 8/10 people survive a further 5 years. And hey, if I do keel over we’ve had some interesting conversations on how the family will spend the insurance money! Positives to everything – plus I’ll come back and haunt them!

Good news this week is I’ve finished Freya’s mermaid quilt for Christmas! shhhhh, it’s a surprise so don’t tell her but I think she’s going to love it…….

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Just need to make the boys one each now!

And look at my hair!

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Seriously, how curly? Getting long too! But still can’t do much with it.  But I did read in a magazine that short hair perms are coming back into fashion! So there’s hope for me yet!

So what’s next – well hopefully I’ll get some good results from the scan – but if not we’ll deal with it as we have everything else.  Then I have my lovely friend’s Jane and Gary’s wedding! Exciting! Just like a fairytale.

And then it’s Christmas! I haven’t been this excited about Christmas for a long while.  At the beginning of the year I really didn’t know that I’d see another Christmas, so this one is particularly special.  We’re going to decorate the house this weekend – that’s the earliest ever!  Plus done the best ever advent calendar for the kids…… CHOCOLATE!

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