Today is the first day I have felt nearly human again since first chemo – day 11. Had some ups and downs but nothing I can’t cope with. I even went to a relaxing yoga class, which I found a little boring so that’s a good sign! Very tired as although the nausea etc has eased I feel like I’ve had no sleep due to itching! Feels like prickly heat wherever I have hair! So just waiting now for baldness. Although I have made some progress with scarfs and a beanie hat – thank you girls. Think I look a bit like noddy in one of the hats. Was even toying with the idea of a blue wig or something daring, but no, they’re too expensive and probably best not to draw attention to myself!
The kids have been making great progress with their housekeeping lessons. Freya has the job of bathroom cleaning, laying the table, dusting, letting the dogs out and generally keeping her bedroom dirty clothes free! The boys have kitchen duties – their cooking skills are improving and they are working together reasonably well so far – plus the dinners are good. They will make good husbands if nothing else. The boys also have vacuuming and emptying dishwasher duties. In the holidays I think we’ll introduce dog walking a bit more to give Phil a break! The girls are going to want these boys!
As for Phil, he is a domestic god! say no more. Adore this man so much.
I’m also feeling much more positive, probably because I feel a bit better too. Lewis turned round the other day and said “mum, I suppose Cancer isn’t that bad really”. I looked a bit shocked and asked him why? He replied “well, it could always be worse, you could be paralysed from the neck down forever!” – at this moment I realised that my kids DO listen to me, well one does anyway – my motto is “it could always be worse!” – so true, love this boy, and yes, it could be far far worse!
So, already I have started to cram as much organising into the next two weeks as possible – around resting of course! Trampoline has been ordered for enjoyment (for the kids, but maybe for me too if my bladder holds out). I have been working on this for the last few years and Phil has actually agreed to a 12ft one! Anyone who knows him will understand that he loves his lawn so this is love for you! I have also ordered a fridge freezer which arrives next week – which gives me a week to frantically cook some good meals for emergencies for my family. I’m also organising some fun days before my next treatment – cinema with my beautiful girl to see Cinderella, Nathan’s birthday – bowling and american diner, GCSE revision schedule for Nathan, planting seeds for my mini allotment, and we’ve just made invitations for Freya’s 10th birthday tea party – not sure if I’ll make it but have called in the troops to help if I’m in hospital. The list goes on, but must not wear myself out! I am in semi retirement now and must go slooooooow! so frustrating.
Had to go back to hospital on monday as so sick – they were amazing, did me a total MOT – bloods good! I’m booked in for the 8th April for 3 days. Plan is to lower my next chemo by 25% and give slower, more fluids, antihistamine, close monitoring and better anti sickness and anti-anxiety meds. I asked if they could just sedate me but they said no! I feel confident they will look after me this time though – fingers crossed anyway. And if I still have a reaction they can drop the fluorouracil (which is the one they think my body hates!) So at least there’s a plan. They’re also giving me an extra week to recoup.
Plus my body may be used to some other toxins by then as with the sickness I have been craving all sorts of food – big macs for example! Phil has enjoyed this immensely! He was pushing for a kebab too but no, sorry darling x
Going to bed now as exhausted – have a sewing day booked tomorrow to make some easter chicks! love!